Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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