she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
