check it out our google latitudes are spooning
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
