38 yer olds are good kisserssss
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Randomize
