I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
