Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
