Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
