She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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