I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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