hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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