I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
