so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
