Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
