woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
