in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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