so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
