You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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