Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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