They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
