the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
