I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
