id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I could make wine with my vomit
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
