Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
