am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
