Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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