what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
