So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
People with herpes should wear stickers.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
