If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
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