Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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