Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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