We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
