like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
