I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
operation have a gay friend backfired
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
