I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
