I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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