it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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