My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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