Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
