Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
