I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
