told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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