Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
