okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
