and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
