ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
