it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
