I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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