On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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