I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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