I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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