Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I stole a fireplace last night.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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