Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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