you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
...so i touched it.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
