so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
