I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
