***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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