: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
