so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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