Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
